A list of things that Adrian would get if he were in Ottawa right now.

The Big Bang Theory

‎”Hey Leonard..”

The audience is mostly silent, but there are a few murmurs of anticipation for the coming punchline..

“…Hey Sheldon”

The audience starts to crack, a few nervous chuckles are heard

“I’ve made a flowchart showing the algorithm for ordering food from a Chinese restaurant. Would you like to see it?”

The audience loses control and bursts out in full riotous laughter. A few lose control of their bodily functions, flinging saliva and mucus around the room.

“…I’d rather not.”

The audience bursts out, some visibly rolling in the aisles. The laughter reaches the audible level of a Judas Priest concert, but ultimately nothing out of the ordinary occurs in the studio. But at that moment, somewhere in the night, a child is born in an inner-city hospital. A child born of the concentrated cacophony of the studio audience, his dark birth kiIIing his mother and ushering in a new age, a dark age. An age of suffering for the entirety of humanity.